SPL’s shame

Once again, Scottish football has proved itself embarrassing, rotten to the core. Walter Smith, manager of Rangers FC, neatly summed it up after Sunday’s SPL encounter with Hibs: “Nobody in Scottish Football wants us to do well”.  He was, of course, referring to Rangers’ hectic schedule that will see them entertain Motherwell on Wednesday at Ibrox, before Dundee United also make the trip to Govan on Saturday.  Rangers had hoped for the latter of these matches to be postponed to give them a free week before their UEFA cup final against Russian outfit Zenit St Petersburg, who themselves have had 3 games postponed to aid them in the run up to their historic first European final at the City of Manchester Stadium.  Zenit manager Dick Advocaat, himself once in the Ibrox hotseat, expressed sympathy with his opposite number Smith, claiming the Scottish authorities had “let him down”.   The decision is made all the more incredible by the fact that Celtic’s run to the final of the same tournmanent in 2003 was aided by their game against Dundee being brought forward to give them a week to prepare.  One wonders if the Bhoys were in Rangers position now, whether the SPL would be quite so un-accommodating. Dundee United also have much to answer for for rejecting Rangers’ request…although in reality every club in the country would probably have done the same….”NOBODY WANTS US TO DO WELL”…the words of Walter Smith certainly ring true as a savage indicement of the pettiness of Scottish football, an embarrassment to the country.

Al-Qaeda claims Rally triumph

Today in the Portugese capital of Lisbon should have been the start of another of the world’s great sporting events: the 30th annual Dakar Rally.  I think that used to be the Paris-Dakar rally, but seeing as it appears to begin in Portugal and terminates in Senegal, obviously not! Anyway, the reason I feel compelled to comment on an event which I have little personal interest in is the greater outrage that its cancellation invokes.  Much of the controversy centres on the West African country of Mautritiana, where much of the rally runs through. The last month has seen four French tourists murdered there, with Islamic insurgents opening fire on the tourists as they picnicked by a road.  This was followed by an Al-Qaeda condemnation on the internet of the governments of those nations who host the rally for providing the infrastructure for the “infidels” to pass through.

 Now of course we need to put security before anything else – the former French rugby coach turned Sporting Minister for Paris Bernarde Laporte himself acknowledging in The Scotsman that “after a point you can’t just talk about economics” – but the stark fact remains that this decision may leave a dangerous precedent.  We have, in recent years, seen the terrorist attacks on New York, London and elsewhere.  We are always encouraged by politicians, and lauded in the press, for “getting on with things”, for “not letting the terrorists win”.  And to all extents and purposes, the people of the free world who have been affected by terrorism have done just that.  Why then, are we cowering to the demands of our enemies here? Where will it stop? The European Football Championships in Switzerland and Austria? Could similar Al-Qaeda threats disrupt what will undoubtedly be the major sporting event of 2008? Might Mr Bin Laden and his buddies take exception to the democratic process of chosing a new President in the United States, voice their contempt for it and dislike of democracy, thus forcing its postponement?

 Actually, thinking about it, President Bush might secretly welcome such a measure….

Edmund Burke and the Irish

What springs to mind when thinking of this political and philosophical giant of the late 18th century? I’d imagine many others, like myself, would associate him with English politics, Conserativism and, above all, his opposition to revolutionary events in Paris in 1789. However Richard English’s recent book “Irish Freedom” casts a fascinating look at the great man’s relationship with the island of his birth, something often neglected and worth a mention here.

Burke was born in Dublin and educated at the Protestant only Dublin Trinity College. Nothing unusual in this you might think, his political views regarding the French revolution show him to be very much pro-estasblishment, as the Protestants in 18th century Ireland undoubtedly were. Yet Burke was actually born of a Catholic mother, and this perhaps explains why he was more sympathetic to their advancement than many of his contemporaries. Not because he was an ardent Irish nationalist as some later Republican groups would have us believe, but because he felt the dissaffection of the Catholic majority in Ireland might inevitably lead to the same revolutionary tendancies occurring on the Emerald Isle that he had been so critical of in France. Whilst he was sympathetic to the plight of his countrymen, and eager that greater Catholic emancipation occur, it was largely with England’s interests in mind. An unstable, revolutionary Ireland might spread to the British mainland or, just as bad, provide a gateway for France to exploit in her war with Britain. The latter proved prophetic, the French revolutionaries supporting a (failed) uprising in Ireland in the later 1790s.

Thus Richard English’s argument is that it is folly to claim Burke as being an Irish nationalist. Quite the opposite infact. He believed an all-encompassing British empire best served Ireland’s interests. Breaking up the Union would be a terrible idea, thought Burke. The irony here, then, is that his thinking can be of as much use in advancing Ulster Unionist arguements as the Irish nationalists who have claimed Burke as their own.

Evil-Scotsman

Insomniacs of the World Unite

I have reached the conclusion that I am an insomniac. I have medically diagnosed myself with this condition because I find myself obsessively blogging it at almost 4 in the morning. The publishing time of the article won’t reflect it because its American time, but its true. This is how low i’ve stooped. The causes of my night time woes are documented in previously blogs, so no need to trawl painfully over them again. Suffice to say I have decided to follow my own heart in a career sense, you’ll have to accept the fact, mother dearest.

To be honest, i’ve been doing a lot of research on sleeping disorders tonight so, sod the studying, hand me over a degree in the subject now! Supposedly the vast majority of “insomniacs” actually suffer from ‘delayed sleep phase syndrome’, whereby, as the name suggests, the suffer struggles to drop off. The difference with insomnia being DSPS suffers can, when they finally enter the land of nod, stay there for hours undisturbed. I’ll probably spend all day Sunday asleep after sitting up writing this, so perhaps DSPS is my condition instead? Or is DSPS just a fancy way of saying those of us who enjoy lying in bed till 2pm are lazy b*stards?

 It could be worse though. Whilst reading up on sleeping disorders I came across something known as ‘Parasomnia’. Basically those strange things that people do in their sleep come under this catergory. Grinding of teeth, sleepwalking, nightmares etc. What really caught my eye though, perhaps unsuprisingly was ‘sleep sex’. Yup, no fancy scientific name for that one folks. It does exactly what it says on the tin. Social taboos and a reluctance of sufferers to come forward probably explain why the study of this is in its infancy. For the sakes of the partners of suffers, I demand more government funding for research into it now! Get acting Mr Brown, or I’ll start one of those polls anyone can sign on www.downingstreet.gov.uk! All joking apart, some of the reported cases of sleep sex in the press are staggering. Several people, including a man in York accused of three cases of rape, have been acquitted on this ‘medical condition’. It really sets a dangerous precedent when people honestly think that is an excuse for sexual assault. Tie ‘em up like Father Jack Hackett when he had his spell of naked sleepwalking, I say! More comically it has to be mentioned that a woman in Australia sleepwalked through the streets, having sex with strangers. Only down under could that be taken as serious news….

You’d think all that sleep talk would have maken me a little bit dozy by now, but alas, i still like i’ve taken a couple of E’s washed down with several cans of red bull. For all the scientific research out there, my last hope of some kip tonight will call upon one of the more traditional methods. One sheep, two sheep, three sheep….

Night Night

Evil-Scotsman

“The bells are ringing out for christmas day…”

Suffering from boxing day blues. I never used to get hangovers like this in my teens. Probably shouldnt have been drinking anyway seen as I’d had 3 different types of tablet before dinner…”Helps your stomach’ said Nobel prize winning Doctor My Mum, which doesnt explain why my bowls are still angry on boxing day.

Atleast the drink allowed me to hone my karaoke skills to the tune of Neil Diamond’s ‘Sweet Caroline’ (Buckfast Wine!), as well as practice a bit of dancing Village People YMCA style. Free Daily Mail interactive quiz TV went down a storm too…or atleast the womenfolk stormed out when they felt the male elements present were getting a bit too excitable and competitive.

Went to bed about 1am, with one of the dogs sleeping on top. Woke up to find a large wet patch on the bed. The dog’s fault, I hope.

Anyway, excuse me…toilet time!

Winter of Discontent

Finished up work for Crimbo on Saturday, celebrated with a Chinese take-away. Big, big mistake, as I felt ill already by the time Match of the Day started, and by Sunday morning I was thoroughly rendered bed-bound. By Sunday night the entire household was clutching their stomachs’, queing up outside the bathroom. Perhaps this was a virus unrelated to the Chinese? Better not be too hasy reporting said take-away emporium to the council’s health and safety department. I have contacts there you see, spent my work experience with them as a lad of 15.

Anyway, a quick search of the family’s predicament on wikipedia reveals the virus will be unlikely to bugger off out of our systems for 72 hours. That’s right, 3 whole days. Normality will not be resumed till Boxing day apparently. Who will cook the Turkey at this rate? Who will be able to stomach it? Looking like Turkey soup for us at the moment.

Thats the least of my worries though…due to start placement as a Secondary Teacher in January. Why am i doing this? I don’t know myself, all i’m sure about is that its the last thing i want to do with my life. Must have been drunk when i applied for this course. Don’t know what to do, but only got 2 weeks to make up my mind…wish i could be a journalist of some description, but its a dream the family pours scorn upon, teaching is a safer route apparently.

HELP

Evil-Scotsman